Nine suggestions for dealing with narcissists

The term narcissist is frequently used. It is used to describe people who appear self-centered, only concerned with themselves, or manipulative of the people in their lives.

Some people may suffer from the mental illness narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Based on the criteria outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose this condition.

Other people may exhibit some narcissistic traits but do not meet the criteria for an official diagnosis.

You can learn how to deal with a person in your life who has narcissistic personality traits, as well as what you can do to establish healthy behaviors and boundaries around this person, by visiting this page.

We commonly use the term narcissist to describe someone who is self-centered and lacks empathy.

However, it's important to remember that NPD is a legitimate mental health condition that can cause significant difficulties for those who suffer from it. It may also make it more difficult for others to maintain a relationship with the individual.

Nonetheless, some people can exhibit narcissistic traits without being diagnosed with NPD. These could include:

• having an overinflated sense of self-importance
• creating a fantasy world to enhance their sense of grandeur
• requiring constant adoration and praise
• possessing a sense of entitlement
• without shame or guilt, taking advantage of others or exploiting people
• not being aware of or concerned about the needs of others
• insulting or bullying others
• monopolizing discussions or meetings

Here are some tips for dealing with someone who has NPD or narcissistic tendencies, as well as some for recognizing when it's time to move on.

People who do not have NPD or other similar mental health conditions typically consider a relationship to be a selfless equation. It is about giving something to someone else without expecting immediate or equal compensation.

That is not always the case with people who have narcissistic personality traits. Relationships are frequently viewed as transactional or as something that must benefit them.

People with NPD are often charming, magnetic, and compelling. This can make them appear irresistible, even sexy. However, people with narcissistic traits frequently have troubled relationships that are rocked by jealousy, anger, and abuse.

A person suffering from NPD is not always capable of the reciprocity required for healthy relationships. They may attempt to blame others for their shortcomings or failures. In disagreements, they can be volatile and sensitive. They may also use lies or manipulation in some cases to avoid accountability.

This can exhaust, drain, and deplete a partner. Partners of people with NPD may decide that it is easier to go along with their partner's demands and manipulation rather than defending themselves or setting boundaries for their own mental well-being.

Of course, it's important to note that not every relationship with someone who has NPD will be this difficult. With treatment, some people can improve their narcissistic tendencies and develop less one-sided relationships.

How to Avoid Narcissistic Tendencies

Confronting someone with NPD about their behaviors is rarely beneficial. In many cases, they will try to maintain their advantage and are frequently resistant to change.

Instead of attempting to "fix" someone with NPD, it is best to focus on your own behaviors and well-being. Setting boundaries and forming a stronger support system of friends, family, and professionals to help you navigate the ups and downs of a relationship with this person are examples of this.

People with narcissistic personalities are often described as charming and likable, which may make it easy to overlook some of their more harmful behaviors.

However, it is critical to become acquainted with the symptoms of NPD so that they can be identified.

This can also assist you in better understanding the person's strengths and weaknesses, allowing you to navigate any challenges that may arise.

Furthermore, it can be the first step toward learning to accept them for who they are and developing more realistic relationship expectations.

Discuss your concerns with a mental health professional or read books written by mental health professionals. This may assist you in learning the best ways to communicate with a loved one who exhibits narcissistic personality traits.

Building healthy self-esteem can help you deal with and cope with some of the potentially harmful behaviors you may encounter when dating someone with NPD.

Positive self-talk, self-care, and finding a healthy support system can all help you develop resilience and boost your self-esteem.

Higher self-esteem can also make it easier to set clear boundaries, be assertive, and advocate for yourself, all of which are essential for maintaining a relationship with someone who suffers from NPD.

Ignoring something or simply walking away is sometimes an appropriate response — pick your battles, right?

When communicating with someone who has NPD, try not to react, get visibly flustered, or show annoyance if you feel your boundaries have been crossed.

If this is someone you want to keep in your life, you owe it to yourself to speak up. Try to do this in a gentle, calm manner.

You must inform them of the impact their words and actions have on your life. Be clear and consistent about what is unacceptable and how you expect to be treated, but be aware that it may be difficult for them to understand or empathize with your feelings.

When dealing with someone who has NPD, you may notice that your boundaries are being crossed.

Instead of attempting to change someone with NPD, it is best to set boundaries for any unacceptable behaviors and communicate them clearly to the other person.

To ensure that you are taken seriously, you should enforce these boundaries rather than making idle threats or ultimatums.

Assume you have a coworker who enjoys parking their large truck in a way that makes it difficult for you to back out. Begin by firmly requesting that they leave you enough space. Then, explain the consequences of not following your wishes.

For example, if you are unable to safely back out, you will have their vehicle towed. The important thing is to follow through and call the towing company the next time it occurs.

Deep breathing, yoga, and meditation can help you stay calm and avoid reacting when interacting with someone who has NPD.

It may also be beneficial to clarify your intentions or practice what you intend to say before asserting your boundaries.

It can also assist you in anticipating how they will react to difficult conversations so that you can respond appropriately.

If you can't avoid the person, try to strengthen your healthy relationships and social support network. Spending too much time in a dysfunctional relationship with a narcissistic personality can drain you emotionally.

Rekindle old friendships and make new ones. Spend more time with your family.

If your social circle is smaller than you would like, consider taking a class to learn about a new hobby. Participate in community activities or volunteer for a local charity. Do something that will allow you to meet more people with whom you are comfortable.

Spending a lot of time with someone who has a narcissistic personality can make it difficult to remember what it's like to be in a healthy relationship.

Here are a few warning signs:

• Both parties listen and try to understand each other.
• Both individuals acknowledge and accept responsibility for their errors.
• Both individuals believe they can relax and be themselves in front of the other.

Many people with narcissistic personalities are excellent promise keepers. They may promise to do what you want and avoid doing what you despise, or they may promise to do better in general.

They are frequently sincere in their promises. However, in some cases, these promises may simply be a means to an end.

Although direct confrontation is not advised, it is critical to be clear about what you want, need, or expect and to express yourself calmly and gently. Inform them that you will only fulfill their requests after they have fulfilled yours.

To take your expectations seriously, you must also be consistent and follow through.

Other disorders, such as substance use disorder or other mental health or personality disorders, are common in people with NPD. Another disorder may be what motivates someone to seek treatment.

It's also important to remember that narcissistic characteristics aren't always indicative of a more serious mental health problem. Some people may exhibit traits such as delusions of grandeur or a sense of entitlement without being the result of a more serious mental health condition.

The only way to tell the difference between random traits and a true disorder is to have a mental health professional evaluate you.

Of course, even people with narcissistic characteristics may benefit from the assistance of a mental health professional. Regardless of a larger diagnosis, certain characteristics can be harmful to relationships, personal development, and well-being.

Remember that, even though NPD is a mental health condition, it does not excuse harmful or abusive behavior.

Managing a relationship with a narcissistic personality can have a negative impact on your mental and physical health.

If you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety, depression, or unexplained physical ailments, or if you are affected by a relationship with a difficult person, see your primary care physician first. Following your examination, you can request referrals to other services, such as mental health professionals and support groups.

Reach out to family and friends, and activate your support system. There is no reason to go it alone.

Some narcissistic personalities are also verbally or emotionally abusive.

• insults and slurs
• patronizing, humiliation in public
• threatening, yelling
• enmity, accusations

Other warning signs to look out for in the other person are:

• blaming you for all that goes wrong
• tracking your every move or attempting to isolate you
• telling you how you should or should not feel
• routinely projecting their flaws onto you
• denying obvious things to you or attempting to deceive you
• minimizing your needs and opinions

But when is it time to throw in the towel? Every relationship has ups and downs, don't you think?

While this is true, it is generally preferable to end the relationship if:

• you're being abused verbally or emotionally
• you believe you are being manipulated and controlled
• you've been abused physically or feel threatened
• you feel alone
• The person with NPD or a narcissistic personality exhibits symptoms of mental illness or substance abuse but refuses to seek treatment.
• Your mental or physical health has suffered as a result.

If you are afraid of the other person, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233, which connects you to service providers and shelters across the country.

It may be beneficial to consult with a professional as you come to terms with your decision to end the relationship.

These mental health resources can assist you in locating a qualified mental health professional:

If you believe you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency services and, if possible, remove yourself from the situation.

When confronted with criticism, people with narcissistic personalities may react with hostility, rage, or aggression.

While setting boundaries and communicating clearly are important, confronting them about their behavior, calling them a liar, or expecting them to change is unlikely to help.

Is it possible to change a narcissistic personality?

Treatment for narcissistic tendencies is possible, but it takes a lot of time, effort, and patience.

If you decide to keep a relationship with someone who has NPD during treatment, it is critical to establish realistic expectations and healthy boundaries.

What are the four different types of narcissism?

Grandiose (overt) narcissism and vulnerable (covert) narcissism are the two main types of NPD. While grandiose narcissism is characterized by exaggerated self-worth and a need for admiration, vulnerable narcissism is characterized by feelings of self-consciousness and insecurity.

There are several subtypes of narcissism, including antagonistic narcissism, which is characterized by aggressiveness and feelings of entitlement, and communal narcissism, which is characterized by people seeking admiration for being altruistic or benevolent.

NPD is a serious mental health condition that can make it difficult to form and maintain healthy relationships.

Though navigating a relationship with someone who has NPD can be challenging, setting clear boundaries, developing a strong support system, and practicing skills to stay calm and respond appropriately may be beneficial.

However, keep in mind that it is also critical to recognize when you require assistance and when it is time to end the relationship.