Expert Advice on Squirting While Making Love.
You know how people blame Disney movies for instilling unrealistic love expectations in people? I blame porn for instilling in me unrealistic sex expectations. If pornography were an accurate representation of people's everyday sex lives, we'd all be shooting off liquid streams of erotic bliss at every climax. Unfortunately, no.
However, the elusive sex sensation of squirting is not entirely impossible. It appears that it comes naturally to some women. Others, however, may be able to learn. That is, you can make yourself squirt during sex.
First, a refresher on what squirting is: "squirting appears to be fluid that is retained in the bladder and released either when a woman has an orgasm or other times," according to Madeleine Castellanos, MD. This is thought to involve the Skene's glands, which are two structures near the end of the urethra that can produce fluid in response to G-spot stimulation.
What this actually looks like is probably not what you expect. "The term'squirting' is a bit misleading because the fluid isn't always expelled as a squirt," says Jess O'Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast. "It could be a trickle, dribble, or gush." Some people "can feel the liquid being pushed out," O'Reilly says, "but in many cases, you don't even notice it until you get up and see the wet spot beneath you." According to sex therapist Debra Laino, DHS, the actual fluid that comes out can be "milky or clear," and it can feel and look like you peed yourself. The actual volume can also vary. "Some women will have more fluid than others, depending on their body and experience," Laino says.
But why all the fuss? Dr According to Castellanos, it can feel pretty effing fantastic. According to one study, nearly 80% of women who have experienced squirting said It enhanced their sexual lives. "As anyone who's ever had a UTI can attest, the urethra has all these nerve endings in it," she says. "It's extremely sensitive." So when you get this rush of fluid going through while also having an orgasm or sexual stimulation...that can be a very pleasurable experience. "
Having said that, "many people believe this is the pinnacle of orgasm." "And if you haven't done it, your orgasms are less-than—I disagree," Dr. Castellanos claims "Squirting enhances or detracts from orgasm for some people, but it does nothing for others." It does not apply to everyone. "There is no shame in either case."
Of course, you won't know unless you try. So, if you're still interested in making yourself squirt, here's a step-by-step guide from an expert to your first attempt.
1. Prepare your bed simply in case
Throw Liberator Fascinator
Throw Liberator Fascinator
If you succeed in squirting, things might get a little messy. So, Dr If you're concerned about oversaturating your sheets, Castellanos suggests taking precautions.
Taylor Sparks, founder of OrganicLoven.com and erotic educator, recommends the Liberator Fascinator Throw, which is designed to absorb liquids and is softer than most towels.
2. Maintain proper hydration.
To be fair, this hasn't been studied, but experts say it could help in theory. "Some people claim that hydration promotes sexual responses such as orgasm and squirting, but this is anecdotal," O'Reilly says. "Overall, staying hydrated is beneficial to your health and can aid in sexual functioning." Laino adds, "Dehydration can lead to more difficulty having an orgasm in general and can even make sex painful, as well as having low energy for sex." "
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Be gentle with yourself and your body. "It can take some time to get a feel for it," says Antonia Hall, author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
You should also try to eliminate as many other stressful thoughts as possible. "Remember that for most women, sex begins in the brain," Sparks advises. "Begin your mental seduction earlier in the day." " That includes everything from dirty talk to cleaning the bedroom so nothing stresses you out."
4. Begin by concentrating on the clit
"Start by stimulating your clitoris, which will help bring blood into the area and get your G-spot area ready for play," Hall advises.
- Enjoy Your Best O Ever With These Clit VibratorsWith These Clit Vibrators, you can have the best O ever.
O'Reilly recommends using a rabbit vibe, such as the We-Vibe Nova, which "provides dual vibrating stimulation for the G-zone internally as well as the clitoral head and hood externally." "It's adjustable, powerful, rumbly, and you can use it to rock in a pulsing motion," she adds. "
"As the outer arm stimulates the head of the clitoris with pleasure-air technology that uses tiny bursts of air to create a suction-like sensation over the clitoral head," O'Reilly says of the Womanizer Duo.
5. Apply a lot of pressure to the G-spot.
When you're ready, Hall recommends inserting your middle and ring fingers a few inches inside the vagina and rubbing your G-spot, which feels like a small ridged area along the front of your vaginal wall.
- How To Find Your Own G-SpotHow to Locate Your Own G-Spot
Just so you know, you'll need to do it for a long time (it's a marathon, not a sprint). ) "What you're pushing on is erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra," explains Dr. Castellanos elaborates "While you're stroking that" You're altering the angle of the urethra to the bladder, making it much easier for fluid to be expelled. " Relax the pelvic floor muscles while stimulating the G-spot to increase your chances of squirting."
6. Enlist the assistance of a toy
G-spot stimulation is critical in this case. Sparks describes the G-spot as "about two inches in and one inch up, inside the vagina." "So you want a toy that has some length and a slight upward curve?" " She likes the Le Wand Bow because "it is perfectly curved with ridges and a round bulb on one end and smooth and a more pointed bulb on the other." " You can even play with temperature by soaking it in warm or cold water for a few minutes before using."
Check out these buying tips for sex toys:
7. Don't be concerned about peeing.
When they're close to an O, many women have the sensation that they're going to pee. However, that gotta-go feeling is frequently triggered by the fluid coming from the Skene's glands behind the G-spot (a). k a squirting)," Hall explains.
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And don't worry if pee does come out, says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and the creator of Finishing School. "Sex is messy, and there are already a lot of fluids involved, so who cares if it was urine?" " (However, if it makes you feel better, you can use the restroom before you begin.) )
8. Maintain control of your pelvic floor muscles
- 8 Best Pelvic Floor Exercises For Women 8 Women's Pelvic Floor Exercises
According to Sparks, having control over your pelvic muscles is beneficial. "As the sensation [or] pressure builds, you'll feel like you need to pee—that's when you should use your pelvic floor muscles," she says. "Do not tighten them, but rather push them out." as if you're pushing pee out It takes practice, but it is achievable. "
9. Try to be present in the moment.
When you feel an orgasm building, doing your best to be easy-breezy lemon-squeezy will go a long way toward helping you reach your goal. "Some people report that tenseness interferes with both orgasmic sensation and squirting," O'Reilly says.
"Many people claim that bearing down allows their muscles to relax, allowing them to fully enjoy the squirter experience," Dr. Laino concurs. "This applies to orgasm in general—letting your body relax while maintaining tension and flexing the [pelvic floor] muscles will help you have all types of orgasms." "
10. Don't be too hard on yourself if things don't work out.
Most importantly, Dr. "Be compassionate with yourself if you don't make yourself squirt," says Castellanos. "
If you don't succeed the first time, or even after several attempts, it simply means that your body's natural instinct is to keep anything from exiting the urethra while you get busy. Relax, enjoy the sensations, and if it happens, it happens.
Korin MillerKory Miller
Korin Miller is a freelance writer who specializes in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends. Her work has appeared in Men's Health, Women's Health, Self, Glamour, and other publications. She has a master's degree from American University, lives on the beach, and dreams of one day owning a teacup pig and taco truck.
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